Friday, August 07, 2026

Date of Death, March 18, 1999

March 26, 1999

I am honored to say a few words about my mother on my family’s behalf.

 

In this memorial celebration, we want to thank all of you who came today

 

for the time you are giving and for sharing your memories of Betty Parisian,

 

who was wife, mother, sister, mother-in-law and grandmother to us. 

 

For the last 8 years I have occasionally wondered what I might say at Mom’s

 

memorial service.  I have imagined some fine tributes to this woman, who

 

was not only my mother, but also best friend, and personal mentor. 

 

Naturally, now that the time is here, words do not satisfy the challenge.

 

Mom, today we gather not only to mourn the loss of your life in this world

 

but also to celebrate your “going on ahead” to a better place.              

 

We know that you were taken from us before we would have liked.  But we

 

know the distinct privilege of having you at all.  Still, our days will

seem empty and small.

Betty was the anchor of our family.  She had good intellect, depth of

 

character and strength.  She tried to keep us on the right road.  She made

 

her love for us obvious.  She always wanted us to try to do the right thing

 

and to do our best.  The Golden Rule of trying to treat others, as you would

 

want them to treat you was her mantra.   But you leave us with much more,

 

Mom, much more.  You leave us with the irrepressible and undeniable

 

feeling of warmth and love.

 

Love that was demonstrated time and time again throughout your life, to all those who knew you a little, to all those who knew you a lot.

 

A small woman, who was, as she often said, “tough as nails”, Betty was a

 

fighter in her own right. Most important, Betty was a fighter who never quit. 

 

She didn’t quit, when at age 4 she had her first heart operation at the Mayo

 

Clinic. For most of her life she would never quit when attacking a

 

tough crossword puzzle often far into the night.  She never quit in making

 

every house we lived in across the High Plains a home that anyone would be proud to live in.

 

She didn’t quit in 1975 after receiving a new heart valve. A decade ago she

 

would never quit, as many of you know, when faced with tiny

 

problems in her passion of sewing such beautiful quilts.

 

In January of 1991, quitting wasn’t her style when she fought so hard for life

 

after such a powerful stroke and surgical ordeal. But Mom, your very best

 

was always most evident at home.  As a mother and wife, you weathered

 

your share of trials and tribulations.  And because of the way you handled

 

yourself during your life, you represented to us, all that is good in this world. 

 

Your heart, never quit, when it came to your family and to your friends.

 

In many ways we lost our Mom that cold winter day in 1991, just as we lost

 

her last week. We are grateful for all she was to us, and we celebrate her

 

passing into our heavenly Fathers hands and out of the discomfort and pain

 

of recent years that she was in. We are so grateful for the wonderful

 

caregivers that became such an important part of mothers life.

 

So too we are grateful for the example set by her husband.  A man in whom

 

I am equally proud: a man who looked out for Betty’s interests in such a

 

diligent fashion during such trying circumstances.  Dad, you are a man

 

among men, and we know that with a twinkle in her eye, Mother thanks you

 

from Heaven above.  As well, I thank my great sister, Nancy Kaehler, and

 

her family.  You were always there, through thick and thin, always doing

 

your best for Mom in the way in which it had to be done. So too I thank

 

moms brother, Don, for stepping up when needed.  His help was important

 

in allowing Dad to get some much-needed rest during those long agonizing

 

weeks at Abbott Northwestern. Finally, I want to thank my wife, Pam, for

 

understanding my hurt and pain these last 8 years and who, listened to Mom

 

on the telephone on the night before her operation in 1991 say these last

 

words, “ if something bad happens to me, take good care of my son”.  Pam, I

 

thank you for understanding and taking such good care of your family.    

 

Our family has often talked of mom’s premonition to be in serious danger

 

when this last heart surgery took place.  Her vision that something terrible

 

would happen to her was in retrospect 20/20.  Mom, you always knew what

 

was going on.  You were always on the ball.  You always had it figured out.

 

It is a tribute to your level-headedness and strength that you always thought

 

of others no matter what obstacles you faced yourself.  It is a trait that we

 

hope will be carried on to your four beautiful grandchildren.

 

I would like to end by thanking God for the small mercies he has shown over

 

the last 8 years.  As mother many times said,  “ be thankful, for things could

 

always be much worse”.  In so many ways Mom, we were fortunate to have

 

you with us these past few years.  Only the Creator knows why bad things

 

happen to good people.

 

 

Today, Mom, we all know you look straight to us from heaven above.  We

 

know you soar with the angels.  You will remain an enormous influence on

 

us left behind.  And so today, Mom, we honor you and grieve for you. 

 

Tomorrow we will miss you.  As you walk in harmony and peace you are at

 

last, one with the earth, a blessing for us all.

 

Forever Mom, forever, we will love and remember you.  Give your Mom

 

and Dad, Gramma Dora and Grandpa Walt a big kiss for us.  We hope to

 

join you in heaven in our own way, in our own time.  We love you dearly,

 

Mom.  May the Lord be with you.  

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