It's Friday, lighten up, the stock market is up

I have always questioned whether Al Sharpton was really a preacher, since he has no church. 

So when I heard that Al Sharpton was the guest preacher at a nearby black church, I decided to check him out in person and see what it was all about. 
  
As I was sitting in a pew, Reverend Sharpton came up to me (I don't know why ……. maybe it was because I was the only white person in the Church). 
  
He laid his hands on my hand and said:  "By the power of Jesus the Lord All Mighty, and the power of God, you  will  walk today."

I told Reverend Al that I was not paralyzed. 
  
He came back later and laid his hands on me again, and repeated the same thing:   "By the power of Jesus the Lord Almighty, and the power of God, You  will  walk today. "

Again I told him there was nothing wrong with me. 
  
After the sermon I stepped outside.

And lo and behold, my car had been stolen.