Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Logic 101, Class of 2011 final exam

If you can answer this correctly you will have answered the question on what action to take on raising the Federal debt ceiling.


You come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup.  You have sewage up to your basement ceiling. 
 
What do you do?
 
Do you raise the ceiling or simply pump out the shit?

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

New LA Math Test..........

LA Schools are finally starting to teach practical math that these kids can use in real-world situations!


NAME____________________

GANG/CREW NAME______________

CRIB_________________

01. Lajames has an AK-47 with a 200-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive- by shootin. How manymofos can Lajames ice on a drive- by before he gotta reload?

02. Leroy has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for$320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest of his shit?

03. Dwayne pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne's $800 per day Crack habit?

04. Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to gets the20% upside?

05. Ray-Ray gets $2000 for a stolen BMW, $1500 for stealing a Corvette,and $1000 for a 4 x 4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to make the 10k for his brother's bail?

06. Pedro got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money pe r month, how much money will be left when he gets out?

07. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with three 8 oz. Cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?

08. Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. There be 20 girls in his gang. What be the percentage of bitches Tyrone knocked up?

09. Lafawnda is a lookout for the gang. Lafawnda also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 5 rats per week and a cost of $5 per rat. If Lafawnda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week's income?

10. Rafael steals Juan's skateboard. As Rafael skates away at 15mph,Juan loads his 357 Magnum piece. If it takes Juan 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Rafael be when he gets whacked?

The Boys of Fall........

JP getting it done once again!!!

Rumbling and Quaking under Corruption, D.C.

The east coast earthquake apparently was caused by an unknown fault line running under D.C. and through Virginia. It is now being called Obama's Fault, though Obama will say it's really Bush's Fault. Other theories are that it was the Founding Fathers rolling over in their graves or that what we all believed to be an earthquake was actually the effects of a 14.6 trillion dollar check bouncing in Washington.


For all golfers...........

Wife’s Diary:


Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.

I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.  I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary:

A four putt; who the hell four putts?



Friday, August 19, 2011

Slime at work.........better than Blue Horseshoe!

This is how they do it boys and girls in the big leagues of taking care of the prospective POTUS's.

This clip would have made Blue Horseshoe proud!!!

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/bank-americas-dead-drop-rick-perry-we-will-help-you-out

Spend some time on the comments.  You will be glad you did! 

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Some levity for a morose market day.......

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, “Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land.”


Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land.”

Today, Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, multiple wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc……..I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English.

I was connected to a call center in Pakistan . I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck!


8/18

With the European markets down 3% and the European banks getting hammered to the downside all with the absence of any of those bastardly short-sellers things should get wild today.  Gold doing what it should be doing and Mr. Chavez helping gold longs in a very big way.  Thank you Cesar, thank you.

The POTUS sitting out on a golf course and watching the waves on vacation and planning his "new" plan to gainfully change the unemployment problem is rather sad.   Actions speak louder than words.  There is no plan.  He has no plan for America.  It is only about the sound bites to get re-elected. 

I seldom ever grab a platform to shout market direction over any time frame but something tells me that when he speaks in September one may short the S&P e-mini's when the speech starts and cover when the speech  ends and be a wealthier investor.  That's one of my plans.  Today my plan is to watch gold and silver continue higher.  Kaching! 

Monday, August 15, 2011

Tricky Dick

On this day, August 15th, 40 years ago, President Nixon announced the end of the Gold Standard and the end of the Bretton Woods international monetary system.   This was one of the most important decisions in modern financial, economic and monetary history and is a seminal moment in the creation of the global debt crisis confronting the U.S., Europe and the world today. Nixon ushered in an era of floating fiat currencies not backed by gold but rather deriving value through government “fiat” or diktat. While Nixon justified the move was that the U.S. , then as today, was living way beyond its means with the Vietnam war and growing military industrial complex leading to large budget deficits and inflation. Governments internationally including the French and their President Charles de Gaulle were concerned about the debasement of the dollar and began to exchange their dollar reserves for gold bullion bars. Subsequent to Nixon’s decision 40 years ago, the U.S. dollar has fallen from 1/35th of an ounce of gold to 1/1750th of an ounce of gold today. This is not the fault of “speculators”, rather it is the fault of profligate governments and central bankers debasing the U.S. dollar.

Blue-hairs UNITE!

I wonder what goes through Ben Bernanke’s mind as he sits in his gold plated boardroom in the majestic Marriner Eccles building in Washington DC and decides to screw grandmothers in order to further enrich Wall Street bankers. He just pledged to keep interest rates at zero percent for two more years. Ben is a supposedly book smart man. Does he have no guilt or shame for what he has wrought? How does he sleep at night knowing he has created bloody revolutions around the globe due to his inflationary zero interest policy? People are dying because he has decided that an elite group of Wall Street bankers who recklessly brought down the worldwide financial system in 2008 deserve to be kept alive and enriched at the expense of the many.




Thursday, August 11, 2011

Pam Paulini

In San Diego the other day and a buddy of mine asked me what ever happened to Pam Paulini?

Hadn't caught up with her since she was the 1983 San Diego Playboy Club Bunny of the Year.

Pam, you out there?

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Good Job Barry..........

The White House has informed Americans that following a fantastic job well done, in which the market is now back to pre-QE2 levels, unemployment is near record highs, delays for presidential appearances press meetings compare with Newark airplane take offs, pessimism is at record highs, America's credit rating has just been downgraded, the country was nearly bankrupted, and sales of end of the world provisions are through the roof (not to mention ammunition), president Obama is taking a well-deserved vacation at Martha's Vineyard at the end of the month. From Bloomberg: "President Barack Obama will vacation with his family in Martha's Vineyard at the end of this month as he's done in years past, the White House said Wednesday, despite the weak economy and negotiations on the nation's debt problem. Press secretary Jay Carney defended Obama's plans to take a break even as he's pledged urgent action on those issues. "I don't think Americans out there would begrudge that notion that the president would spend some time with his family," Carney said.

One question for Jamie..........

Your bank expansion in serving 130 million Americans who get up and go to work every day is questionable.

Exactly why should I, a taxpayer, be paying for the food, via foodstamps that are used by over 45 million Americans who have very little skin in the game.   The system is broke.  The incentives are out of whack.

Meredith Whitney versus Jamie Dimon

In a cage match my money is on Meredith.   One she is tough.  Two, she doesn't bullshit, she calls banks "zombie" banks.  

Jamie Dimon calling her call "hogwash" is funny.  Jamie, take a look at any bank stock index for a first clue.

Then look at your company and thank the American taxpayer for your bonus.  

Monday, August 08, 2011

CNBC

The one cable television program that should be investigated by the SEC for feeding America so many turd sandwiches.

Sunday, August 07, 2011

Hard work, faith and some luck.........

Meruelo's parents arrived in the United States from Cuba in 1961, settling initially in Miami before moving to New York and, when he was around 3 years old, Southern California. He is a graduate of California State University, Long Beach.


"It is important to me," Meruelo said of potentially becoming the NBA's first Hispanic owner. "I'm very proud of my heritage. It's nice to be able to do something that is different and is not in the ordinary. I'm very blessed. I'm very lucky."

Congratulations Alex Meruelo!   Good luck in Atlanta.

Saturday, August 06, 2011

From Indiana State Treasurer Richard Mourdock

"President Obama should fire U.S. Secretary of the Treasury Tim Geithner over the debt downgrade. If Obama won't remove him, then the US Senate should withdraw its consent of Geithner's appointment to U.S. Treasury because someone in the White House needs to be held responsible for this disaster."

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Dumb and dumber......

No, I am not talking about the two beauties that Budd Zuckerman and I were spending time with on a sailboat.   I am talking about Congress and the Senate.   This entity that will be called, "Super Congress" fits that description.  Perfectly.  

There aren't enough trees in America for Bernanke to print dollars to save us.   We have Italian and Spanish bond markets effectively paralyzed, US T-bills yielding ZERO percent and gold to a record high.

What's not to fear?

Native American Advisors CHIPPEWA PARTNERS

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CHIPPEWA PARTNERS, Native American Advisors, Inc. is a Registered Investment Advisor, founded by Dean Thomas Parisian in 1995. The firm is a manager to an exclusive clientele and is closed to new clients. As a Registered Investment Advisor, our expertise developed over 35 years balances experience, integrity and tremendous work ethic. Dean Parisian is a member at the White Earth Reservation of the Minnesota Chippewa Tribe, a former NYSE and FINRA arbitrator and trader who began his career with Kidder Peabody and later worked for Drexel Burnham Lambert in LaJolla, CA. His philanthropic interest is in Native American education and he's endowed a significant scholarship for Native Americans at the University of Minnesota. His greatest accomplishment includes raising two sons and 26 years of marriage. The Parisian family enjoys outdoor pursuits at Pamelot, their farm in Tennessee and at the Ghost Ranch, their ranch on the Yellowstone River in Montana. For media requests contact the firm via email: ChippewaPartners (at) gmail dot com, on Twitter: @DeanParisian. Global 404-202-8173