March
26, 1999
I
am honored to say a few words about my mother on my family’s behalf.
In
this memorial celebration, we want to thank all of you who came today for
the time you are giving and for sharing your memories of Betty Parisian,
who
was wife, mother, sister, mother-in-law and grandmother to us.
For
the last 8 years I have occasionally wondered what I might say at Mom’s memorial
service. I have imagined some fine
tributes to this woman, who
was
not only my mother, but also best friend, and personal mentor.
Naturally,
now that the time is here, words do not satisfy the challenge.
Mom,
today we gather not only to mourn the loss of your life in this world but
also to celebrate your “going on ahead” to a better place.
We
know that you were taken from us before we would have liked. But we know
the distinct privilege of having you at all.
Still, our days will
seem
empty and small.
Betty
was the anchor of our family. She had
good intellect, depth of character
and strength. She tried to keep us on
the right road. She made her
love for us obvious. She always wanted
us to try to do the right thing and
to do our best. The Golden Rule of
trying to treat others, as you would want
them to treat you was her mantra. But
you leave us with much more, Mom,
much more. You leave us with the
irrepressible and undeniable feeling
of warmth and love.
Love
that was demonstrated time and time again throughout your life, to all those
who knew you a little, to all those who knew you a lot.
A
small woman, who was, as she often said, “tough as nails”, Betty was a fighter
in her own right. Most important, Betty was a fighter who never quit.
She
didn’t quit, when at age 4 she had her first heart operation at the Mayo Clinic.
For most of her life she would never quit when attacking a tough
crossword puzzle often far into the night.
She never quit in making every
house we lived in across the High Plains a home that anyone would be proud to
live in.
She
didn’t quit in 1975 after receiving a new heart valve. A decade ago she would
never quit, as many of you know, when faced with tiny problems
in her passion of sewing such beautiful quilts.
In
January of 1991, quitting wasn’t her style when she fought so hard for life after
such a powerful stroke and surgical ordeal. But Mom, your very best was
always most evident at home. As a mother
and wife, you weathered your
share of trials and tribulations. And
because of the way you handled yourself
during your life, you represented to us, all that is good in this world.
Your
heart, never quit, when it came to your family and to your friends.
In many ways we lost our Mom that cold winter day in 1991,
just as we lost her last week. We are grateful for all she was to us, and
we celebrate her passing into our heavenly Fathers hands and out of the
discomfort and pain of recent years that she was in. We are so grateful for
the wonderful caregivers that became such an important part of mothers
life.
So too we are grateful for the example set by her
husband. A man in whom I am equally proud: a man who looked out for Betty’s
interests in such a diligent fashion during such trying circumstances. Dad, you are a man among men, and we know that with a twinkle in her eye,
Mother thanks you from Heaven above.
As well, I thank my great sister, Nancy Kaehler, and her family. You
were always there, through thick and thin, always doing your best for Mom in the way in which it had to be done.
So too I thank moms brother, Don, for stepping up when needed. His help was important in allowing Dad to get some much-needed rest during those
long agonizing
weeks at Abbott Northwestern. Finally, I want to thank my
wife, Pam, for understanding my hurt and pain these last 8 years and who,
listened to Mom on the telephone on the night before her operation in 1991
say these last words, “ if something bad happens to me, take good care of
my son”. Pam, I thank you for understanding and taking such good care of
your family.
Our
family has often talked of mom’s premonition to be in serious danger when
this last heart surgery took place. Her
vision that something terrible would
happen to her was in retrospect 20/20.
Mom, you always knew what was
going on. You were always on the
ball. You always had it figured out.
It
is a tribute to your level-headedness and strength that you always thought of
others no matter what obstacles you faced yourself. It is a trait that we
hope
will be carried on to your four beautiful grandchildren.
I
would like to end by thanking God for the small mercies he has shown over the
last 8 years. As mother many times
said, “ be thankful, for things could always
be much worse”. In so many ways Mom, we
were fortunate to have you
with us these past few years. Only the
Creator knows why bad things happen
to good people.
Today,
Mom, we all know you look straight to us from heaven above. We know
you soar with the angels. You will
remain an enormous influence on us
left behind. And so today, Mom, we honor
you and grieve for you.
Tomorrow
we will miss you. As you walk in harmony
and peace you are at last,
one with the earth, a blessing for us all.
Forever
Mom, forever, we will love and remember you.
Give your Mom and
Dad, Gramma Dora and Grandpa Walt a big kiss for us. We hope to join
you in heaven in our own way, in our own time.
We love you dearly, Mom.
May the Lord be with you.
