Best Divorce Letter Ever !!!!!!!

Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called  today to tell me that you quit your job and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!


Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping...too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers:  I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica.  When I got home you were gone.  Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

Scott Hervey and TMZ

Way back on 2-23-2009 at 11:40 a.m. I took a call from a guy who purported himself to be a certain Mitchell Johnson from TMZ.    The number that he called me  from according my caller ID was  310-425-2352.

Mr. Johnson asked me if I would tell him about a reality show I had been involved with and I said, "NO, but I would be glad to tell you about the deer in Texas".

That number actually belongs to the show's producer Scott Hervey.  Apparently he tried to call me and suggest he was with TMZ trying to see if I was going to "talk" about the show prior to it being shown on TV.

If you don't believe me, just call that number and see who answers it.    

Merrill Lynch, Bank of America

I bet those old blue-haired clients of Merrill are having a rough morning trying to digest that $5 a month at B of A for having a debit card!

Leave it to a taxpayer saved entity to just out and out gouge the public.

Those clients of Merrill Lynch, if they only knew, would be racing out the door if they were bright enough to figure out all the hidden fees they pay to their salesmen.  The American investing public.  P.T. Barnum's famous quote in 2011 rings as true as ever!
  

Mutual Funds

When shareholders pick up the telephone and call mutual funds they should realize they are getting some serious crapola in their ear.  The inside marketing boys and girls are given their poop sheets to lay out in very vague and uncertain terms the reasons the funds are performing like Obama in his 3rd year.

I have been around mutual funds for 30 years.  Owning them, selling them, buying them and talking to the many bullshit artists who pump them.  It's amazing the public isn't smarter about them.  The con continues.

Come to think of it, it is the public after all.    

The U.S. Treasury would pay you.........

1.97%  for 10 years
3.08% for 30 years

There's way too many saddlebags on these donkeys to get their act together.

There is no growth.  There is no employment change.  Housing is stuck.

Let them fail.  Let them fail if they deserve to fail.  Stop the madness.

Georgia Tech Football.....

They won, that is all about one can say.  I like the grit in the offensive line.  I like the athletic ability.  I loved watching Christian Scholz on the Jumbo Tron!  Christian you are made for TV pal.  I loved how the stadium was near-empty at noon kick-off.  Studying late Georgia Tech or just a late night?  I wish Marty Alcala would have been able to see some real action and make Milton High School proud.  You have to admire walk-ons on D-1 teams.   I loved the band.  I hate the offense, I just do.  The play of the two safety's, especially one of them was sheer atrocious.  Surely there is somebody on the sideline who wants to play with grit and make some plays. The kicking game was lame.  I bet Paul Johnson is watching film this morning knowing full well that he needs to ramp it up and get these guys to stop making stupid mistakes to win.  I loved the fire in the North Carolina fan base and their coaches.  NC has some team speed!   I hated to watch one of the Tech receivers drop a sure TD and then come up lame.   That was a made-for Hollywood episode of little equal.  There wasn't a fan in the stands who saw that crapola.    

Just a great day for Tech fans, alumni, students and coaches.  The team has alot of work ahead of them. 

Alot.

BEAST........

On a rainy night in Georgia he had a couple of interceptions, caught a TD pass, made some tackles, caught about 75 yards of passes, stripped a guy for a fumble and finished it off with a hug from a friend.

Mom, Dad and Grandparents enjoyed the game. 

Operation Twist

Trading desks at the major banks and investment houses will reap record bonus's.  Main street business still getting bent over.   Nothing to increase demand for American made goods and services.  Nothing to increase demand for labor.  Lower rates will do nothing for real estate demand.  Nothing new here, move along.

There is a bigger shake-out coming.

Here's some REAL team spirit!!

She gives new meaning to dishing out a big hit and winding up in a "penalty box"!

Click here: California Hockey Mom Allegedly Had Sex With Son's Teammates at Sleepovers - ABC News

Fantaseconds in time............

On September 15, 2011, beginning at 12:48:54.600, there was a time warp in the trading of Yahoo! (YHOO) stock. HFT has reached speeds faster than time itself. Up to 190 milliseconds into the future, or 0.19 fantaseconds is the record so far. It all happened in just over one second of trading, the evidence buried under an avalanche of about 19,000 quotations and 3,000 individual trade executions. The facts of the matter are indisputable. Based on official exchange timestamps, there is unmistakable proof that YHOO trades were executed on quotes that didn't exist until 190 milliseconds later!


Millions of traders depend on the accuracy of exchange timestamps -- especially after bad timestamps were found to be a key factor in the disastrous market crash known as the flash crash of May 2010. We are confident the exchange timestamp problem has been completely addressed by now: the SEC would have made sure of it. It's not like adding accurate timestamps is rocket science, or even considered a difficult problem. Based on recent marketing materials, the exchanges are practically experts on measuring time. And with hundreds of millions in annual data feed subscriptions paid by the same subscribers expecting quotes with accurate timestamps, there is no shortage of funds to make it happen.

So we can be certain the exchange timestamps were accurate, which means that HFT has truly entered the era of the fantasecond.

But let us suppose for a moment that in reality, quotes became queued (delayed) and were timestamped after leaving this queue. After detailed analysis of the UQDF data feed (see chart below) that transmits this information to traders, we find that the traffic rate for both the total of all output lines and specifically multicast line #6 which carries YHOO, were both well below peak rates. So it doesn't appear there were any capacity problems which have always been an excellent indication of feed delay.

This raises a few thorny questions.

Does this mean there are far more delays than we previously thought? Is there a delay every time we see an explosion of quotes in one stock? Because that sort of thing happens. All the time.

Regulation NMS is pretty clear that direct exchange feeds are prohibited from having a speed advantage over the UQDF data feed. UQDF computes the NBBO after all. So how does one ensure trade-through price protection if the price being protected hasn't even occurred yet? The NBBO lies at the heart of Regulation NMS (Reg. NMS) and is the key concept that assures investors are getting the best price when buying or selling stocks.

Maybe it would be better to just fantasize about fantaseconds after all.

Ted Turner

Coming up on 73 in November.  Those junk bonds we peddled for him at Drexel Burnham Lambert made him a nice fortune.   Let's go pound some horn on the Flying D Ted.   I know you can still shoot straight.  You told Rupert the straight scoop today.

Chief policy maker Goldman Sachs

The tentacles of the squid.  Frightening if you only knew.  Horrorific if America had a clue. 

Ronald Sloan, Invesco

More of the same.  The mantra of telling prospective investors to buy value stocks with good growth prospects that might pay a good dividend is so 80's.

Tell America they need to have their money managed on an absolute basis versus a relative basis.

You will do them a real favor.  

Andrew Card, Tom Daschle

These two spenders were on the Comcast channel this morning.

Bullshit artists.   Perfect liberals.

Ron Paul

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/guest-post-old-man-and-sea-2011

Broker-speak.

LIQUIDITY: When you look at your investments and wet your pants.

Come to think of it.........

I never heard of a rogue trader who did anything but lose money. Certainly there has to be a trader somewhere that was making unauthorized trades that made huge money?

What do they call a rogue trader who makes a ton of money? A hero, prescient, sagacious, brilliant, bold, daring.....a vice president........ in a nice corner office?

Thirsty for some Solyndra?

Solyndra will cost every American around $2 with zero tangible value.


It is as if every American bought a beer and dumped it into the drain.

Barack "You Must Pass This Bill" Obama

Where can I find this bill on the internet?  

This pork and stimulus spending spree is a joke, a complete farce.   Just more of the same with different lipstick.  Recovery Summer 3.0 just passed by, and 50 million Americans on food stamps, record deficits and debt, a real jobless rate of 20%, falling real wages, inflation of about 9%,  the ongoing draining of the savers and retirees, a housing depression that has no end, a Eurozone that's literally melting down, and more political rhetoric is all we  have.

I was just trying to be nice........geez..........

Wow, you offer someone a compliment on their moustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore!

Obama and War.......

Obama ran on ending our Middle East trillion dollar expenditures back in 2008.  Once he figured out how the game is played and how money flows into his campaign coffers he is "all in"  on keeping the war machine going.  Why don't we stop supporting wars we don't understand and stop killing American soldiers we can't afford to lose?

For what?   It isn't the Taliban or Al-Quada or Iran who America should be scared of today when they wake up.    It's Obama, Geithner and Bernanke. 

The Casey Anthony case........

The parents of the young lady who killed her daughter are weird.  Very weird.

The stench of a dead body in the car would be enough to figure it out.

This is life in America today..........

POTUS-"I have a plan, to create jobs and get the economy back on track"

Average joe- "and that would be?"
POTUS- "450 billion dollars"
Average joe-"?"
POTUS- "and the best part is...it's already paid for"
Average joe- " but the fed is already running a 1.3 trillion dollar deficit"
POTUS- "450 billion dollars and there will be jobs, good jobs for every American who wants one..."
Average joe- "but..."
POTUS- "450 billion dollars and there will be peas in every pot, solar panels on every roof..."
Average joe- " but the solar plant went bankrupt, the USPS is about to do the same, BoA is laying of 30,000 workers and NFP printed at zero..."

POTUS- "450 billion dollars...is what we need to act now, Americans can't afford to wait...
Average Joe- " but Mr. POTUS where is the money going to come from?"
POTUS- "450 billion dollars...and it's already paid for, it's the right thing to do, right now"

Average Joe's head, out of irritation and frustration, simply explodes...

POTUS- " you see my plan to reduce unemployment is working already..."

Funny the teleprompter didn't blow up on this news.........

The irony could not possibly be any funnier.   Just as Sgt. Obama had the lonely unemployed club band huddled around him to tell America to "PASS THIS BILL", literally that very minute Bank of America released a statement it is sacking 30,000 fine employees!

My candidate for POTUS in 2012

I don't know who this American is.  I hope above all he is still alive.   I hope he came home in one piece and not in a body bag.  I hope he has not been delimbed.   I hope he is not blind or deaf from an IED.  I would hire this cowboy in a New York second.   Courage, faith, energy, accountability, patriotism all wrapped up in an American fighter.  God bless him, his team, his commanders and America on 9/11/2011. 

Click here: my war video Lazy Iraqi Police get motivational speech

Any may someone in our government have the ability to just say no to the military industrial complex and all its money and simply remove the American presence in the Middle East.  Just like Obama promised us.

D.E.L.T.A. don't ever leave the airport

I called Delta and asked if they could take me to New York, take my luggage to Detroit and take my golf clubs to Cleveland. They said, "We can't do that!" I said, "Why not? You did it last Monday.

Sheer gambling on a lottery draw...........

Not Successful


2011 DEER SUPER TAG CHANCE

NOT SUCCESSFUL

Chances: 15 purchased

2011 ELK SUPER TAG CHANCE

NOT SUCCESSFUL

Chances: 10 purchased
2011 MOOSE SUPER TAG CHANCE

NOT SUCCESSFUL

Chances: 10 purchased
2011 SHEEP SUPER TAG CHANCE

NOT SUCCESSFUL

Chances: 10 purchased

2011 GOAT SUPER TAG CHANCE

NOT SUCCESSFUL

Chances: 10 purchased

2011 MTN LION SUPER TAG CHANCE

NOT SUCCESSFUL

Chances: 10 purchased

Don Imus, Prick Extraordinaire

Don Imus this morning was making fun of Nancy Reagan.  He called her basically, a George Burns look-alike after they showed her last eve at the Reagan Library GOP hopeful debate.

Imus, if i ever run into you out on the range i will run you and your horse down and pull your sorry ass off that horse and beat your ass silly.    This former listener is done with your show forever.  You are still a coke-head with vile like that spitting out of your brain.

Never ever forget these hero's on 9/11/2001

If you listen to this, say a prayer for the families of those who went on ahead.  They still need prayer.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2011/09/08/nyregion/911-tapes.html

Call it the way I see it.......

I find it absolutely hilarious that a bunch of Republican charlatans are debating in the Ronald Reagan library, nearly falling to their knees in worship of him, and, simultaneously, having a discussion on whether Social Security is a Ponzi scheme.


The irony!

Sign of the times....

Regulators would rather go after Gibson Guitars for exotic woods than Wall Street for exotic derivatives.

What a mess we are in.  2012 can't come soon enough.   OMG!

Tim Armstrong and AOL

This company should be required for HBS students.   Has there ever been a larger conglomeration of morons and idiots under one corporate name?   And Ted Turner let me ask you.  How much did you "lose" in the whole fiasco?   How many billions?   They just didn't understand what they had early in the game.

Steve Case is still laughing no doubt.  Talk about bending shareholders over.

May America never forget...........

http://www.archive.org/details/911/day

The quote of the DECADE!

"The printing of fiat will continue until morale improves."

Labor Day, 2011

Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration.--Abraham Lincoln

Hard to fathom.........

The powers that run COMCAST and dictate what the stooges on CNBC spout are a real kick.

What a spectacle of bullshit spouted daily and nary a shred of truth being told.  And speaking of weird logic and a welfare mentality, what sort of  system do we have where 45,000 employees (Verizon)  feel comfortable going on strike when there are NO jobs, and management caves in to their demands?   Maybe Obama should address that sort of logic in his jobs speech next week. Maybe the problem is more at the core of what this country has become than what some new tax incentive to hire can fix.


My take  on it all is farily simple, OMG  =  Obama Must Go.  Anybody but this community organizer in 2012.  Happy Labor Day if you have job.  If you don't enjoy your unemployment check.  It's free to you but sure not to me.

Ramblings over the Labor Day ahead.........

Finally!  Waffle House sells oatmeal!   Yacht Week in Croatia is the bomb!   Football betting starts in earnst this weekend.   The stock market doesn't know if it's sick or just tired.   America hasn't a clue how good they have it.   Security in a German airport makes TSA look foolish.  Obama hasn't a clue, period.   Romney is a stiff, period.     

Lesson for the Corruption, D.C. Congresscritters

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.


The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father,what causes arthritis?"

The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned, " Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

MORAL:    Make sure you understand the question before offering up an answer.